Dear Jill,
"Will" alone produces nothing just like "Faith without works is dead." But if you define will as "the power by which the mind makes choices and acts to carry out those choices" then it is a powerful thing. By "willing" you arouse the creative aspect that is present in all human beings. The willing is just the beginning.
We get the impression in the movie, THE SECRET, that things just "appear" instantaneously. This may happen occasionally, but everything we do of a creative nature goes in a step-wise manner and "will" helps create those steps. The point is to start making the steps, even baby ones, in the right direction. It will take time, sometimes a short time and sometimes a long time.
We can have "things" if we are open to new possibilities and if we hold the vision of them in our hearts and keep them there. And those "things" can bring us either happiness or misery, depending on our choices.
The "Godly" part is the important thing. In the scriptures we are told that after we have a "hope in Christ" we can obtain riches if we seek them for the intent to do good.
Wouldn't you just LOVE to be in a position to do good with riches? I sure would and I do!
Many church leaders are independently wealthy. How do you suppose they got that way? It's not IF the principles of faith work. They DO work! We are told that we can move mountains if we have faith strong enough. The question is what we set our hearts upon.
As you mentioned, the "power of discernment" is given to all of us through the gift of the Holy Ghost. It is not something that we get in our "head" but something we get in our "heart."
Listen to your own words and you will know that you were on the right track in believing that many things are possible to you: "But for a brief while I felt ALIVE!"
I would say to you, DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO GET THAT FEELING BACK AND KEEP IT ALIVE FOR YOU AND FOR YOUR FAMILY! The Lord needs mothers who have the kind of faith you are seeking! The real challenge for us all is to make our visions STICK!
Love to you on this beautiful Day!
Aunt M
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